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Behavior Triggers


(This is the follow up to the Behavior Problems post)

Behavior Triggers. Where do I even begin with this post? Are there certain triggers to the behaviors that cause him to start banging or hitting his head? Yes, there are plenty of things; however, this boy is so complicated. So complicated that his doctors don’t understand why he does what he does. My theory is things are more related to the problems the seizure caused and less related to actually having autism, but again, that is another post for another day. Lol. Anyway, he seriously changes day to day. If you ask me a question today, I may tell you one thing and two days later tell you something different, but I swear, at the time you asked, that was the current truth lol. So, here we go.

Are there specific things that are guaranteed to set him off no matter what? Again, yes and no lol. His biggest trigger is waiting. Waiting at a doctor’s office, waiting in line, waiting to be fed, waiting for me to get dressed, you get the point here. Any waiting causes him to begin hitting himself or the floor. Waiting in public is the worst because, often, people do not allow us to move ahead or get to us any quicker because he is hitting himself. That means if I sit in a waiting room for 2 hours, I am blocking his hits for two hours straight in addition to getting bit, scratched, and my hair pulled out. (The doctors wonder why I cancel so much. If they would accommodate, then I would have no problem, but they don’t. They leave us to sit in the waiting room so long that they need to clean the floor when we leave because my hair is everywhere!).

Each of these situations varies on how long it takes him to get to the point of full-on meltdown. Sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, it typically takes less than ten minutes before he starts. Waiting in line, waiting to be fed, or other waiting things, he can go a little longer, but not much. However, if we are home, there are a lot more things that I can do to distract him, so I can prolong or completely avoid a meltdown. Of course, I try to avoid them altogether. I never tell him “we are going to get ready to eat soon” because he expects it now, so I wait until I am ready to sit down, then I tell him; problem avoided. This is the same with other things in the house such as getting ready and so on.

Another trigger is that he does not like people touching or talking to him in both home or public settings. However, me, David, and Krysta know and understand him, so we know when it is okay, but if others don’t, then he is likely to start hitting himself as soon as someone starts talking or touching him, but if they stop immediately after he begins to get upset, a full-on meltdown can be avoided. However, in public, people don’t really understand this so they will keep talking until he goes completely crazy and then they look at him like he did something wrong. :/ On the other hand, the confusing hand, he has periods where neither of these things bothers him at all. However, it is difficult to judge until I place him in the situation, so I just try to avoid it at all times.

Trying to get him to do something or cooperate with you also sets him off. Basically, every interaction with him all day long is touch and go. All day long we play it by ear so to speak because we do not know what exactly will set him off for that day. I know those last two sentences seem dramatic, but it is the truth. Walking in front and not behind him one day may set him off, turning the water on, talking to others in the house, cleaning, pulling the trash bag out and replacing it, talking on the phone, laughing, flushing the toilet, along with so many other things can set him off each day. This is especially true on his bad days. On these bad days, me, David, and Krysta cannot talk to one another if he can hear us. He will immediately start to hit himself. On these days, we just text each other even if we are standing beside each other.

However, on his good days, pulling the trash and opening a new bag is one of his favorite things to do as he loves loud, crazy sounds on his good days. He also loves watching me clean and work in the house with power tools, flushing the toilet, and me walking in front of him pretending to run into him lol. This is why things are so complicated. Some days or even parts of the same day, he is more sensitive to everything around him; thus, he goes into his fits, but when it’s over, it’s over. If the day started out horrible and he did nothing but hit himself, then all the sudden he’s happy and playing, then the rest of the day is likely to go great. It’s like there is a switch in his brain that turns on all the time that makes him extra sensitive to everything, but then for some reason that no one can figure out, the switch flips off, and he is fine. Of course, this does not mean on his good days that he won’t hit himself if he gets mad about something, but it does mean that it will come and go quickly and it will not include scratching, biting, and pulling hair.

How do I know which day is which? Well, I have a very odd way of predicting the day with almost 100% accuracy when I feed him his morning yogurt. Lol. He does have a sensory disorder, but most days when I scrape the last drop of the yogurt out of the container he has no reaction, which means it is going to be a good day as far as his behaviors are concerned. Meaning he is likely going to get through the day with minimal meltdowns. However, some days when I scrape that last bit out, the sound of me doing bothers him so much that he immediately starts screaming and hitting himself and he will refuse to take the last bite. This may be an odd way to judge the day by, but it is seriously 100% accurate in determining how the day will go. On those bad days, he usually is nonstop all day with the head hitting and banging. From the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed we honestly do nothing but stop him from hitting and hurting himself. I typically can’t shower, eat, or do really anything on those days because I seriously can’t move away from him because he will hurt himself.

Sometimes these days turn into a weeklong nonstop meltdown. The weeklong fits don’t happen often, but every so many weeks it happens. Usually, we have no idea why he gets like that (although I have my guesses each time), but he will seriously go a week where he will just not stop and every single thing that occurs during the day sets him off. Those weeks are exhausting for all of us especially since he can be awake from 24 to 40 hours straight. Those weeks make me want to run away and not come back until it’s over, but of course, I cannot do that, so we suck it up and get through the damn week. Lol.

Hopefully, this answered the question I always get asked regarding his triggers, but I am sure you are probably just as confused as the doctors are now. Lol.


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